Um, yeah...I'm 30.

   My 30th birthday was this past Monday. I'm still not sure how I feel about it - And by "it" I mean being 30. My best friend came down to visit and stayed the night on Monday. We chatted about old times all the crazy situations we got ourselves into, and he asked me how it felt to be 30? At that moment I began to tear up. I really didn't want to fall for that whole "30 Hype", but the more I thought about all of the dreams and plans I had as a child I start to realize how little of it I've accomplished. 30 is that age that everyone says "By the time I ..." and it hit me and I felt dumb and quickly snapped out of it. I don't like dwelling on things that I can't change, but every now and then you're allowed to sulk a bit, right? After that we went back to laughing and drinking and talking about good times. I am optimistic about the next decade. I plan to make it the decade of "doing" and not another decade of indecisiveness.

  I obviously didn't make my goal - you know the whole reason I started this blog and all. I think I'm down a total of about 13lbs from where I started. The moment I realized I wouldn't be anywhere near my goal I completely gave in. Trying to claw my way back out at the moment.
 
   I'm not sure what the fate of this blog will be. Most all of the time I feel like I'm talking to myself about myself and it's weird. Lifestyle blogs (is that what this is considered?) tend to be self indulgent, which is fine if you're actually interesting but I'm quite bored with myself and find me rather dull. I feel like I'm at a point where I'm realizing I'm not helping anyone here and wondering if the time I spend here - as little as it's been recently - could be better utilized doing something else. Maybe I'm thinking too much into this because really it's just a fucking blog, I'm not splitting the atom.

   Two really GREAT things did happen that I can attribute to this blog. It motivated me to go sign up for school. I've been putting that off for 12 years and it wasn't until I started blogging that I realized I NEED to do it, and do it now. The second one is indirectly or not at all attributed to this blog. Ran and I decided to try for another baby! After we had our kiddo we talked about having another one fairly soon so that they could be close in age; Going on 8 years later we finally decided mostly because I'll be starting school that this was the time to have another one. This time around it's really about strategics - I don't want to be dealing with a newborn through any part of the actual nursing program. I think I can handle work/home/baby through the first 2 years of G.E...At least that's how I'm hoping it all works out. By this time next month I could pregnant...cross your fingers!

Low Carb Poblano Jalapeno Chili

 I got this recipe from the current issue of "Cooking Light". I had to modify it only slightly to make it low carb, plus upped the spices quite a bit. To my surprise this thickened up nicely; it was very good. I plan on making this regularly. Enjoy!

Low Carb Poblano Jalapeno Chili

• Cooking spray 
• 1 1/2 pounds ground sirloin 
• 2 jalapeno peppers
• 1 tablespoon canola oil 
• 1 Med-Large onion chopped 
• 1 cup chopped seeded poblano (pasilla) chile (about 2 large)
• 8 garlic cloves, minced (Or as much or as little as desired I used about 10)
• 1 12-ounce Corona Light
• 1 1/2 tablespoon chili powder (or more to liking)
• 2 teaspoons ground cumin (or more to liking)
• 3/4 teaspoon kosher salt
• 2 1/2 cups of the Best tasting, Lowest carb Marinara you can find. The one I used was 8 carbs per cup.
• 1 cup fat-free, lower-sodium chicken broth 
• 1 Can Eden foods Black Soy beans, rinsed and drained 
• 1 (14.5-ounce) can diced fire-roasted tomatoes, undrained 
• 
  
• Optional: Top with Sour Cream, Sharp Cheese and for extra heat pickled Jalapenos (this really wasn't very spicy)

Preparation

1. 1. Heat a Large Pot over medium-high heat. Coat pan with cooking spray. Add beef; cook 10 minutes or until browned, stirring to crumble. Remove beef from pan; drain. Wipe pan clean.
2. 2. Remove and discard seeds and membranes from 1 jalapeño; finely chop both jalapeños. Heat pan over medium-high heat. Add oil; swirl to coat. Add jalapeños, onion, poblano, and garlic; sauté 10 minutes or until onion is tender. Add beer; scrape pan to loosen browned bits. Cook 6-8 minutes or until 50% - 75% of liquid evaporates (whichever your preference - I did 75%). Add chili powder, cumin, and salt; cook for 1 minute, stirring frequently. Stir in beef, marinara, broth, beans, and tomatoes; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer, uncovered, for 30 minutes or until slightly thickened. Ladle about 1 1/2 cups chili into each of 8 bowls.

  Took all my placement tests today. I suck suck SUCK at math but passed by enough that I don't have to take the test again. Glad to have that part behind me. I'm a horrible test taker; I want to get it over with so badly that I speed through it just to be done with it. I really need to stop doing that. All I do now is wait until April when Summer registration begins and I'm a college student YAY!

  For dinner tonight made a low carb version of the "Poblano-Jalapeno Chili" from the current issue of "Cooking Light". Turned out really yummy will post the modified recipe tomorrow.

Photo: Johnny Autry; Styling: Mary Clayton Carl

Boys DIY Cut-offs

   The following post is weird for two reasons 1)It's still very much winter in many parts of the Country, and 2)This is so simple that I almost feel like making a post about it is lame. This seems like something that would have dawned on me a lot sooner, but doing this never entered my brain until I needed to buy some new shorts for my kiddo last summer. I just didn't like what was available at Target/Kohl's/Macy's etc. I popped into an HM that had a kid's section and found the cutest cut-off shorts, but they wanted like $20 bucks! Finally the light bulb switched on and I realized I had about 3 pairs of holey jeans that I could turn into cut-offs. Went home; got the scissors, and voila! super cute, classic cut-offs for my Boy. I kick myself for not doing it sooner - all the pairs of jeans I've thrown out over the years, ugh -  now I feel like I'm at least getting double duty out of these jeans that he seems to grow out of or wear through quickly. The only reason I'm even posting about this is because when my Aunt saw his cut-offs she asked me where I got them and I told her I made them - I saw the light bulb go off in her too. Even those of you with girls - Today I saw Target put out their girls cut-offs for $14.99 I think? Go to the thrift store pick up some jeans and make them yourself! You'll save money and you'll have some custom cut-offs. Often times the simple stuff is overlooked so if this helps even one person than I'm happy. I made a pair today so I thought I'd photograph the before and after.

He did rock the "grungy" jeans look for a bit, but the hole got a little too big so shorts they became.

This is supposed to be his sad face.

Cut at the center of the hole, use the cut piece as a guide for the other leg and done. After a few washes it'll be nice and frayed.

And this is his happy face

Five Things Friday...

  So I'm starting a new thing here on Fridays. Trying to get some kind of cohesive theme going on since my blog has been all over the place as of late. I'm going to write about 5 things from this past week or 5 things I'm looking forward to next week that made me happy/sad/scared/excited whatever! This week was a tough one so it'll be a mix of a few things. Please don't hesitate to do this over on your blog if you feel so inclined.

1) I had a really crazy teleconference meeting with the CEO of a start-up here in the Silicon Valley. One of those I'm going to be completely vague about what I want, but I want YOU to be a mind reader and know EXACTLY what I want. Needless to say I broke down in tears after. It's not that I don't feel like I could handle the task, but the pressure that I felt like I was under in that moment just felt crippling. Luckily I had a conversation with my boss the next day and he talked me back from the ledge.

2) Just got word I qualified for the full Pell Grant - WooHoo! - Thanks Government!

3) Spoke to my Dad yesterday and he was super upbeat - I love when I talk to my Dad and he's upbeat. He certainly has reason to be down in the dumps. Their home is in Foreclosure. He's caring for my Step-Mom who's currently going to Dialysis 3 days a week and dealing with complications from diabetes (one of which is slowly causing her to go blind). On top of that my Father has a brain tumor - LUCKILY the wonderful Doctors and Nurses at Stanford hospital treated him and we just found out his tumor has shrunk! Ironically, my Grandmother had the same tumor 20 years ago and the treatment was much more invasive - she ended up with shingles, partial vision loss in one eye and not to mention a petty gnarly scar. The treatment my Dad went through was 3 hour long sessions of radiosurgery, no cutting! Pretty amazing stuff...

4)I got a call from a local Indie radio station saying I won two tickets to the San Jose Cinequest Film Festival screening of "Forgetting the Girl" tonight! Sweeeeet Date night tonight :)

5)Woke up to an email from a super awesome blogger Mong's from My Thrifty Closet saying I had won her most recent giveaway of the cutest little handmade brooch. Seriously, if you have not visited her blog take a looksy. If you gave her $10 bucks and let her loose in a thrift store she will amaze you with what she can put together. Plus, she's just an amazing person on the inside. Looooove her!

  Well have a Fantastic Weekend, Folks! If you do this on your blog please come back and let me know - I'm super nosey and like to know what every ones up to :p