Thursday, March 29, 2012

Um, yeah...I'm 30.


   My 30th birthday was this past Monday. I'm still not sure how I feel about it - And by "it" I mean being 30. My best friend came down to visit and stayed the night on Monday. We chatted about old times all the crazy situations we got ourselves into, and he asked me how it felt to be 30? At that moment I began to tear up. I really didn't want to fall for that whole "30 Hype", but the more I thought about all of the dreams and plans I had as a child I start to realize how little of it I've accomplished. 30 is that age that everyone says "By the time I ..." and it hit me and I felt dumb and quickly snapped out of it. I don't like dwelling on things that I can't change, but every now and then you're allowed to sulk a bit, right? After that we went back to laughing and drinking and talking about good times. I am optimistic about the next decade. I plan to make it the decade of "doing" and not another decade of indecisiveness.

  I obviously didn't make my goal - you know the whole reason I started this blog and all. I think I'm down a total of about 13lbs from where I started. The moment I realized I wouldn't be anywhere near my goal I completely gave in. Trying to claw my way back out at the moment.
 
   I'm not sure what the fate of this blog will be. Most all of the time I feel like I'm talking to myself about myself and it's weird. Lifestyle blogs (is that what this is considered?) tend to be self indulgent, which is fine if you're actually interesting but I'm quite bored with myself and find me rather dull. I feel like I'm at a point where I'm realizing I'm not helping anyone here and wondering if the time I spend here - as little as it's been recently - could be better utilized doing something else. Maybe I'm thinking too much into this because really it's just a fucking blog, I'm not splitting the atom.

   Two really GREAT things did happen that I can attribute to this blog. It motivated me to go sign up for school. I've been putting that off for 12 years and it wasn't until I started blogging that I realized I NEED to do it, and do it now. The second one is indirectly or not at all attributed to this blog. Ran and I decided to try for another baby! After we had our kiddo we talked about having another one fairly soon so that they could be close in age; Going on 8 years later we finally decided mostly because I'll be starting school that this was the time to have another one. This time around it's really about strategics - I don't want to be dealing with a newborn through any part of the actual nursing program. I think I can handle work/home/baby through the first 2 years of G.E...At least that's how I'm hoping it all works out. By this time next month I could pregnant...cross your fingers!

8 comments:

  1. Happy birthday! When I was 30, I was still child-less, spouse-less and mortgage-less. I think I was just employed on a contract. Everything came together for me in my 30's and all those things I thought would never happen did. I hope you keep writing your blog, because even if you think you're "dull", I'm reading it and I disagree. Plus, I have to find out what happens with the baby plans:)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Happy (somewhat belated) birthday! I turned the big three-oh in December and feel your pain regarding life goals. And when, exactly, am I supposed to feel like an adult? I thought it'd be by now but I 'm pretty sure that I'm still quite immature (haha).

    Whether you continue to blog or not, good luck with baby-making! Fun AND rewarding. Haha!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Happy birthday to you! I just turned 40 this month so I am way ahead of you in the regrets department. But I do know that you will do a lot of living in the your 30's...so make yourself proud and when you are on here posting after your 40th birthday, I hope you can tell us all how awesome the past ten years have been :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Happy birthday! 25 was my fall apart/holy crap I haven't accomplished A,B,C birthday. 30 somehow passed without me even really noticing. :) But at least you're doing something about it. I'm so jealous you're going back to school! It's on my goal list for the next few years.

    Jenn

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thank you, no baby yet! Will know in about a week though :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Happy Way Belated Birthday to you too! I'm still waiting to feel all grown up too. It still amazes me that I have someone calling me "Mom", lol...still getting use to that.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks! Happy Birthday to you! - So many milestone B-days here :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yeah I fell into all the "30-my-life-is-over" hype...I'm better now - I'm using it as a great motivator.

    Good luck to you when you decide to go back to school - I say get it over with and do it! I waited over 10 years and now I'm trying to do it all at once Baby/School and now Hubs is mentioning we should buy a house :-/

    ReplyDelete